Sunday, April 3, 2011

Lactation Emancipation.

So earlier tonite, a friend had posted on FB that he wondered why people are disgusted at the thought of drinking "breast milk" (human) but will drink the milk of another animal. I'm assuming he was referring to bovines (cows) but people do consume goat's milk.  So of course I referred to the classic line from "Meet the Parents" "I have nipples, can you milk me Greg?"  But after my initial humorous remark, it reminded me of my own opinions regarding this particular topic.  So here are my thoughts.
  First of all, we are the only mammals who wean our young off our milk, but continue to drink the milk of other mammals.  And boy does it taste good on Cap'n Crunch! Or in our coffee (I use a non-dairy creamer), more on that later.  We use it to cook and even back in the day, women would bathe in it to moisturize their skin!  When I was growing up..the FDA suggested to parents that children should drink 4 8oz glasses of whole milk a day..WHOLE milk, not lowfat, 2%, skim, 1% etc.  So we did. Who knew that 30 years later, me and most of my generation would find themselves dealing with something called "Lactose Intolerance" basically meaning..drink the milk, feel the pain. ( or smell it.)  Not to mention you might have to plan your entire weekend around one grilled cheese sandwich.  Cow's milk was designed to turn a calf into a 2000 pound animal..quickly. And it's working on a number of our human population!  Also..cows have 4 stomachs to process the enzyme lactose and well most of us only have one. 
  As far as drinking breast milk or eating foods made with it..I'm going to have to pass. Much like I have to pass on products from cow's milk..forgive me but..It's an "udder" disaster.  Of course putting non-dairy creamer on cereal doesn't work I skip the cereal and have coffee.  Next unrelated/related topic will be "breast feeding in public..good for you? good for your child? good for the dude sitting in the next booth?"
  Guys will always joke about "putting a nipple on the bottle" But if I'm going to drink straight from the "tap" it better have a Coors Light logo on the Tommy's World.


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